While You Were Gone
by acclutch94
Summary: This H/M story takes place at the 4077 during and shortly after the episode The Bus. It's my first MASH so please be kind. There are a few descriptions of wounds, but I try not to make it very graphic. I did rate it T for that reason however. I'm also not a doctor so if something is medically inaccurate I apologize in advance. I hope you enjoy it!
1. Chapter 1

Meanwhile back at the 4077th...

This story takes place while Frank Burns, Hawkeye Pierce, BJ Hunnicut, Radar, and Col. Potter are stranded and lost returning from a medical conference. With all the doctors away, what would the 4077th do if wounded came in? Here's a thought.

Maj. Margaret Houlihan is just finishing up the daily duty roster. She smiled, thinking they should all be fairly pleased with it. Nurse Able got the night off and so did Bigelow. Only Nurse Anderson, Kellye and Baker had anything to do and that was to go back over inventory to double check to see that they were completely stocked on all necessities. The three of them, working together should have it done in no time.

Margaret was quite pleased with herself. Although she would never admit it out loud, she did care deeply about what her nurses thought of her. Maintaining the respect she required to perform her job was a must, but her feelings for the women in her charge went beyond that. They were her responsibility and she was very protective, even if they really wouldn't know that.

Yes, it was true that she worked them hard, no harder than she worked herself though, and she was proud of that fact. Margaret knew she only wanted them to be the best they could be. They would probably never know that any time there was a concern of an enemy ambush, her first thought was of them. She would voice her rather loud concern that the well being and safety of her nurses had better be the top concern of their commanding officer.

She got up and walked out of her tent and across the compound to the bulletin board where she posted it. Trying to act as though she didn't notice, she hardly glanced as all 5 women practically ran over to the board. There was only one last thing to do before heading off to bed. She had to check to see if the men had returned yet or not, she assumed they had since the two 8063rd doctors had just up and left on their own.

Klinger was sitting at Radar's desk writing something down on a clip board, in a nice pink strapless gown. She asked him, "Corporal, have the doctors returned yet?" His outfit was one of the more outlandish ones and she tried to hide her exasperation as she asked, he still caught it though.

He looked up and smiled, "Not yet, Major." Then he went back to writing.

Margaret was concerned at that point. She had assumed they would be back at 1600 hours, or 4pm. That was what they had called to tell them that morning. Trying not to sound upset she said, "What do you mean, not yet? They should have been back 3 hours ago? Where are they? Captains Dudley and Henderson already left to go back to the 8063rd!"

Klinger shrugged and said, "All I know is they aren't back yet. I'm sorry major, but that's all I know."

Margaret wasn't satisfied. She went into major mode then and said, "Well don't just sit there...get on the horn and call around. Find out why they aren't back yet."

Klinger looked at her and could see the concern written all over her face. He just really hadn't thought too hard about it, until that moment. Both of them knew the dangers in traveling so close to the front lines. Heck, even camp wasn't safe all the time with snipers firing and shells going off every once in a while. So he told her, "Yes sir! I mean, ma'am." He tried to salute and then went about trying to call out.

Margaret then went into Potter's office. She took a deep breath and then decided to fill out the daily report in Potter's behalf. It would take her a little bit longer to get to bed, but it was her duty. She was the officer of the day, as the ranking officer in camp and someone must fill these out. She had figured that Potter would fill out today's but he had not returned with enough time to actually be the commanding officer for the day.

After getting it typed out, which took about 30 minutes, two of her nurses came in the office, Kellye and Baker. Kellye told her as Baker handed her the forms, "Ma'am we went through everything and the only thing we are low on is adrenaline..."

Margaret took the form and said, "Ok, so it looks like we need to order a little more. Its not low, low, but not according to regulation. Everything else looks good."

After looking it over she handed the forms back to Baker as Kellye said, "Yes ma'am. Is there anything else you needed from us?"

Margaret then said, "No, Lt. that's all for now. I would like to know if my nurses will be in camp or at Rosie's though."

Baker then said, "Well...I know Able and Bigelow are over there now and Anderson just left. We were thinking of heading over there ourselves..."

Kellye then added, "There are no patients in post op or anywhere else. Are the doctors even back yet?"

Margaret looked down for a second and then said, "No, they aren't." She looked back at the women who looked worried for a second and then said, "Look, I don't mind you girls going over there, but do not get drunk..." The two women looked at her and she continued before they could say anything, "Until the men return, ladies, may I remind you that we are the only ones in camp with medical training. Should we get casualties, we would be their only source of any treatment..."

Baker then said, "Ma'am, we can't treat wounded..."

Margaret shook her head and said, "Now I don't expect wounded, but we must be on our guard. We are only 5 miles from enemy lines!" She was gesturing with her hands again. "The doctors should return any minute now, but Captains Dudley and Henderson have already left. Right now we are the only ones in camp with medical training." Then she relented, "When the doctors do return, I'll be sure to send a couple of them over to Rosie's to let you know they're back, alright? Then, as long as you are able to function in the morning without a hangover, whatever you do is your business."

Kellye and Baker smiled at each other, knowing exactly which two doctors would be making the late night house call, saluted and left.

Margaret sat at the desk for a minute and thought to herself, 'What if this were mine?' Her hands ran over the wood and then thought to herself again, 'What if I were the one running this camp, for real.' Klinger then burst in and she thought in that second, 'I'd have to deal with Klinger trying to get a section 8 everyday, no thanks.'

Klinger's almost panic didn't quite register with her right away. He blurted out, "Ma'am...I mean major...I got a hold of I Corps and they said Col Potter and the rest of them left right after lunch. They should have been in 3 hours ago!"

Margaret had to hold her emotions in. This was not good news. Every doctor in camp was missing. Even though she was not terribly close to all of them yet, especially Potter and Hunnicut who had just arrived, she still worried about them. She thought in that second about Frank and Radar, but thought more about Hawkeye. Sure she had been involved romantically with Frank since practically when the war started as they arrived together. He had been so comforting on the plane as she made her way to Korea in the first war she had even been a part of. She was scared and he had been really nice and seemed so courageous and disciplined. He had seemed so that is.

Hawkeye though was who her thoughts lingered on however. They could hardly be called friends that first year, but in the last few months, things had changed. She couldn't pinpoint it, but her feelings for and about him had changed. Margaret still saw him as the most undisciplined army officer she had ever seen, but she had discovered that he did have a sense of discipline and duty, to his patients and life in general. There wasn't anything he wouldn't do for a patient to see him survive, even if he didn't like the person or it was the enemy.

Margaret had to hold herself together now. She told Klinger, "Alert the M.P.s so they can get out patrols. Then I want you to call I Corps just to make sure we won't be getting any wounded. Make sure they understand that our doctors have not arrived yet and we have patrols out looking for them. See if you can't get Dudley or Henderson back." Klinger seemed to gulp as he nodded. Margaret didn't want him to spread fear or panic, she also didn't want him to worry either so she told him, "Don't worry, Klinger. They'll probably come through the door as you are on the phone with the M.P.s"

Klinger then took a deep breath and said, "Yes Ma'am. I'll get on the phone right away and you're probably right." He shrugged and then said with a smirk, "As soon as I get half the army looking for them, they'll come waltzing in with bragging about taking the scenic route on the way back." He then turned and left.

Margaret smiled and decided to leave the office. As she walked past him she said, "Let me know if you hear anything or if they do wander in. I'll be in the Mess Tent choking down some bad coffee." He looked up for a second and she hesitated, "You want me to bring you one back?"

Klinger looked at her surprised for a second. This was more like the Major Houlihan he had worked with at the Aid Station a few months ago, not the bossy major that seemed to reside here. He was grateful and told her, "No thank you, ma'am, but thanks for asking." She nodded and left.

It wasn't terribly cold this time of year, but it wasn't sweltering hot either. She put her hands in her olive drab jacket and headed into the Mess Tent. Igor was gone for the day and she couldn't blame him. After serving what he called dinner, she wouldn't wait around either for the reviews. The coffee container still had coffee in it, albeit cold and several hours old. She took a cup and poured herself enough, then sat down to put obscene amounts of sugar in it to get it down.

As she drank it she thought, 'I'm still the commanding officer.' She shook her head, 'They should have been back hours ago. What if they were hit by shell fire or sniper fire.' She put her head down and found her drink of coffee harder to swallow. Where were they? They could bleeding, dying on the side of the road for all she knew? She thought about each one from Radar, who shouldn't be old enough to see any of this, to Potter who had seen enough of it, to B.J. who should be seeing his daughter growing up, not this place, to Frank who seemed too eager to be here to Hawkeye.

Her feelings for Hawkeye had changed so much in the last few months. She felt herself drifting further and further away from Frank and closer to him. Although she couldn't say exactly when this transformation occurred, she suspected it was most evident when she, Klinger and Hawkeye had gone to the Aid Station. Again, this was one instance when she proudly protected her nurses. When Henry Blake had asked for volunteers, there was no question. No way would she allow one of her nurses to take on so dangerous a task. The others seemed less willing, but once they all arrived, they three worked together so closely that it was like they were a well oiled machine. Even Klinger had been the model of efficiency and caring as he took the role of nurse.

Margaret almost chuckled to herself as she said softly to herself, "I never thought I'd think of Kilinger as such an efficient and dedicated nurse. Although I will say, he tries to pull off the outfit." She then chuckled just a little bit.

Her revelry was broken by that same man as he burst into the tent. "Major, ah, ma'am, I just got off the phone with I Corps..."

Margaret put the cup down and asked as she could see how rattled he was, "Well...out with it."

Klinger then said, "Ma'am they said to expect heavy casualties. Some two star got his men in too deep on a hill about 5 miles from here. They said to expect the first wave in about 3 hours cause its gonna take that long to get them out..."

Margaret got on her feet, "Three hours! Klinger did you tell them we don't have any doctors?!" She had that shrill in her voice.

Klinger then said almost as loud, "Yes, ma'am, I tried to explain, no doctors. But they said Potter and everybody else had signed out at 1300 hours and that meant they would be back here at 1600 hours and that by their math that was 300 hours ago."

Margaret was exasperated, shocked and scared senseless all at the same time. She asked, "Well, did you tell them that they aren't? That we don't have them, we have no surgeons, the ones who perform the operations?" She was gesturing again.

Klinger answered, "I tried, I did, but it was no use! I told them we had reported them missing! That they should have that in their records."

Margaret then asked, "And what did they say to that?!"

Klinger answered, "They asked if I filed at MIP-3356 in triplicate and had it approved by General Clayton and..."

Margaret pushed past him and said, "I know the song, I've heard it before." She kept almost ranting as Klinger followed her, "Listen, round up all my nurses and have them meet me in Potter's office in 20 minutes. They're at Rosie's. Get Igor to get some more coffee on and orange juice on stand by. Get all other enlisted after that and have them meet me in the Mess Tent in 30 minutes. Oh, and get Father Mulcahy and have him meet me in 10..." She turned to him as he seemed to be counting on his fingers, "Got it?"

He nodded his head, "Igor now, the father in 10, the nurses in 20 and everybody else in 30...got it!"

She nodded and then told him as he started to walk off, "Klinger... ah...not that I don't love that dress, but given that we could be facing a disaster here...I suggest something a bit shorter and more military, like fatigues?"

He knew what she was saying, trying to be nice but at the same time letting him know they were in for one heck of a night. He smiled and said, "I'm glad you like it and yes ma'am, I'll change right away."

She got back into Potter's office and got on the phone herself. Maybe she could talk some sense to those directing traffic sorta speak. I Corps proved as inept as ever and wouldn't listen to her explanation of doctor shortage. The C.O. at the 8063rd told her they were expecting casualties and couldn't spare anyone and that he just told a corporal the same thing. It seemed lost on him that they were expecting the same. Then she tried a few generals she thought might remember her. She was actively drifting further and further away from that part of her life, but she needed favors now. After talking to 4 of them and realizing that all they wanted was one thing, even as she was trying to relay how desperate the situation was, she slammed the phone down. "Jackass!"

It was at that moment Father Mulcahy walked in. She was startled and said, "Oh, sorry Father, I..."

Mulcahy walked in with his hands in his pockets and said, "No need, major. Klinger explained everything to me before leaving to get the nurses. Are we really going to be getting casualties when they know we have no doctors here to perform the operations?" She could see the concern in his eyes.

Margaret nodded and said, "It looks that way. I've been on the phone with I Corps, Aid Stations and a handful of generals I will never be speaking to again." She exhaled loudly and then said as she sat down in Potter's chair, "Father, if you do have any connections higher up..." She motioned to the ceiling, "I suggest you start calling in a few favors right about now."

Mulcahy took a deep breath and then said as he sat down, "Well..." He took off his hat, "It doesn't exactly work that way, but I will let Him know we could use some back up." He tried to smile and then asked, "So no one has heard from them?"

Margaret shook her head and tried to answer as confidently as possible, "No, they left just after lunch around 1pm and no one has seen them since."

She had to looked down for a second and Mulcahy told her, "Oh dear. Well, I'm sure they'll be alright. You know they could walk right through that door any minute now."

Margaret then said, "You know I told Klinger the same thing."

Mulcahy asked, "And did he believe you when you said it?"

Margaret thought for a second and then said, "Probably about as much as I believe it." She exhaled again. Then she went back into major mode, "Father, as the only two officers left in camp I think we need to plan a strategy for next few hours." He nodded and she continued, "Since we don't know if they're lost or run out of gas or..." She had to swallow hard before she said it, "or were captured, we have to prepare for the worst. I'm going to put my nurses in their tent, mandatory for the next two hours to get as much sleep as they possibly can before the nightmare begins after stocking the OR up good. I'll have Klinger trying to get through to the 8063rd again,hoping he has better luck this time, and 6055th along with the 121st to get any available surgeon here..."

Mulcahy then asked, "But the 121st is so far away. It will take hours for anyone to get here and the 6055th is further..."

Margaret then told him as she nodded, "I know, but a surgeon on his way is better than no surgeon at all. We need every available man we can get. I don't care if he's a podiatrist, as long as he's a doctor. In the meantime, I've gotten a loose agreement with the Aid Station to try to divert all serious cases to the 8063rd and the more minor ones to us. We can pack things tight and bind the wounds, administer IVs and whole blood or plasma like we do in triage until the doctors arrive if absolutely necessary. Anything that only requires stitches, we can handle ourselves."

Mulcahy then nodded and said after exhaling, "Well, it sounds like a plan." He then stood up and said, "What do you need from me?"

Margaret got up herself and told him, "I need you and Klinger to be my right hand. Klinger can direct the enlisted and I will need you helping in O.R. I think that's the best place to bind up wounds especially this late at night. We'll then move everyone we can to post op and wait for the doctors to arrive. As of right now, if you could round up all the enlisted personnel and have them in the Mess Tent, I'll be there in 10 minutes to talk to them."

He nodded to her leaving at the same time Klinger was ushering in the nurses. She told Klinger, "Klinger, thank you, now instead of rounding up the enlisted, get on the horn to the 8063rd, the 6055th, the 121st..."

Before she could say anymore he interrupted, "And beg and plead for a surgeon, any surgeon."

She nodded and said, "Right." The nurses looked at her with a growing sense of concern. Margaret started before they could ask, "As I am sure you are all aware, Col. Potter and our other doctors have yet to return from their medical conference. As it stands now, we are the only available ones with medical training, and I Corps has just informed us to expect heavy casualties in the next..." She looked at the clock, "two and a half hours." They started to looked at each other and were on the verge of panicking as she continued to hopefully avoid that, "Now I understand, probably better than all of you, how serious a situation this is. We have no doctors, no surgeons to perform what could be necessary operations."

Nurse Able asked rather shakily, "What are we gonna do? We can't operate?"

Margaret shook her head and then said, "No you can't operate, but you can bind wounds, administer blood and IVs as necessary, but only as necessary. If means a difference between life and death until the surgeons arrive. You can take a wet washcloth and put it to a soldier's head and ease his suffering. You can do anything a medic can do. I want all of you to head over to supply and double stock OR, that's where we'll be assessing patients. I don't want us to have to run to supply for anything. We are beyond short handed. I've made arrangements with the Aid Station to route all serious cases to the 8063rd and minor injuries to us. I'm hoping they won't send us anything we, as nurses, can't handle."

Kellye then asked, "Ma'am, once we get supplies to OR, then what are our orders?"

Margaret then told them, "After the supplies are brought over and everything is stocked, I want you all to report to your quarters to get a minimum of one hour of sleep. That's an order. I have no idea how many wounded to expect and you will need your rest. Dismissed." They all turned and hurried out.

Margaret then walked past Klinger who was shouting on the phone, "I don't care how long it takes, we need a doctor here now! We're gonna be hit with wounded and..."

She didn't need to hear the rest. Confident that Klinger was working hard, and finally in uniform, she went to the mess tent.

Father Mulcahy was standing on a table trying to get their attention. Margaret whistled really loud and then stood beside him. "Men, we are in a difficult situation. Our commanding officer and medical staff have yet to arrive from a medical conference. We have been informed by I Corps to expect wounded in the next two hours. Therefore, we will need all of your help."

Zale then asked, "What can we do? I'm in requisitions, not operations."

Margaret then answered as the others seemed to murmur in agreement, "I understand that sergeant, but we will need to work as a well oiled machine here. I need everyone's cooperation. You, sergeant can be in charge of getting the nurses anything they need either in OR where we will be conducting triage essentially or in post op, all the way down to cups of coffee or orange juice if they are needed. Most of the rest of you will handle the carrying of the soldiers being brought in as usual and transported as myself or my nurses direct. Klinger and Father Mulcahy here are also here to direct you. Any questions?"

They all shook their heads and she proceeded to tell them, "Alright then, outside of the two conducting patrols in camp, the rest of you are ordered to go to quarters and sleep. We could be in for a very long night and you will need all the rest you can get."

The men left, walking past Margaret and Father Mulcahy. He asked her, "Does that also apply to us?"

Margaret answered, "Absolutely, Father, go and get an hour at least. I'll check on Klinger and send him to bed too. If he's called all the surrounding MASHs I don't know who to call next."

Mulcahy then said, "I do hope that hour of sleep order applies to you as well, major."

Margaret patted his shoulder as they walked back out toward the office and told him, "No need to worry about me, Father. You just get some rest."

After informing her that no one could be spared from any unit in the surrounding area and telling her the aid station again promised not to send anything too serious, Klinger was told to sleep. As the camp slept, Margaret sat at Potter's desk with a hot cup of coffee. Igor had just left it after telling her a new batch was in and would be there as he took his hour. She just sat there and said softly, "Where are you guys?"


	2. Chapter 2

2

At some point she had nodded off, the last time she noticed the clock it read midnight. Choppers woke her up with a start as she groaned and then looked at the clock, just as the PA broke out with, "Attention, Attention all personnel, incoming wounded, all medical staff to the pad and compound, come one come all!"

Margaret noted that the clock now read 4am, several hours after the wounded were supposed to arrive. She hoped that meant that the aid station had sent all the serious cases to another MASH and left only minor injuries for them. The worst case scenario would be if they simply couldn't rescue the men and get them out for this long, then their wounds could have advanced to the point where they were fatal.

She jumped up and ran out with Klinger closely behind her. The chopper landed and she climbed in the jeep with him as he drove them both up to the pad along with two other corp men. It landed and she hurried over and found the first man laying on the side in the litter. There was a lot of blood, she could see that as they stopped the jeep. 'What did they send us?' she thought in a second of panic.

As she pulled back the cover, with the help of Klinger she found a man, or boy rather, maybe 18 years old with bandages all around his head and chest. She felt for a pulse, thready, and then peeked under the bandages, shrapnel wounds clearly and it appeared a bullet wound in the temple, but at an angle. She shook her head and shouted to Klinger over the chopper blades, "Let me check the other side!"

She ran over and found another young man, about the same age with chest wounds. Margaret couldn't believe it. They knew she didn't have a surgeon! Of the two, this one was more likely to make it than the first man. She hated making this decision, but told Klinger, "Get this one to the OR now, then come back and get the other one."

The men did as instructed as she continued to try to get vitals on that first soldier they were taking. The pilot jumped out and helped as the jeep took off and he stayed behind with a corpsman working to get the other man prepped for a jeep ride.

Margaret almost fell out of the jeep twice as Klinger sped down the hill. She called out, "Kellye!"

Lt. Kellye ran over from the ambulance she and the other nurses were unloading and assessing. She called out as she ran over, "Major, they've sent us some serious cases. At least three of them are in shock and most have bullet wounds and shell fragments in limbs. I thought we weren't going to get anything serious!"

Kellye's eyes widened as she looked over and saw the patient Margaret had her hand in, literally. Margaret told her, "I thought they weren't either. I need you with me. Get Anderson and Able to handle triage." She spotted Zale running around and grabbed him, "Sergeant! I want you to go with Kellye. You are to follow Lts. Anderson and Able and write down every soldier's name and injury as they dictate it to you. Then bring me that report and read it to me in the OR. Hurry Kellye, I need you with me."

They nodded to one another and ran off. She told Kilinger, "Get this man into the OR now. We'll have to decide what to do in there. Then, get on the horn to I Corps and the Aid Station and find out what the hell is going on." Klinger saluted and Mulcahy ran over.

Mulcahy's eyes were wide and he said, "Major, I thought..."

She cut him off, "I thought too, look we need every hand we can get." They had unloaded the patient and were going into the OR, Mulcahy was following her. She had put her hand into the bandage in the man's chest to try to stop the excessive bleeding. Trying not to think too hard about everything she told him as they sat him on the table, "Unfortunately Father, I think you will be needed with the next soldier coming off that chopper."

Mulcahy lowered his head for a second and said, "There's nothing that can be done?"

Margaret shouted to Kellye who walked in then, "Scrub up and replace my hand here." Then she turned back to Muclahy, "No, he has a head wound, there's grey matter..." She had to swallow hard and then told him, "Not even Pierce could save him I'm sure. He has a pulse though I doubt he regains consciousness. You should be with him now and perform your office." She said it softly.

Mulcahy nodded to her and said, "Of course, major." He could see how this was getting to her so he said, "I know you will do your best. We are lucky you are here to guide us though these troubled times." He patted her shoulder.

She told him, "Thank you," softly as he walked out.

Kellye came in, in scrubs and said, "Alright major, I'm scrubbed. What can we do though?"

Margaret swallowed and told her, "Come over here by me. Put your hand here. Hold that." She had directed her to the bandage where she could feel the blood pulsating. "Now just stay there until I get back. I'm going to check on the others quickly and scrub up." She called out to Rizzo who had just returned in the jeep, just outside the door, "Rizzo!" He ran to her, "Stay here in case Lt. Kellye needs me. Call me if she does."

He nodded and she ran back out into the compound. The nurses had lined up all the wounded according to injury. She shook her head as she walked around. Klinger came running over and told her, "I struck out, major. No one is willing to send anyone and patrols have gone the distance between here and the conference and there's no sign of anyone." He was out of breath at that point.

Margaret looked around, "My God...I can't operate and I can't send the one in OR anywhere else because he won't make it with his wounds, or these three here..." She pointed to three men laying on litters on the ground. "Binding their wounds won't be enough, they'll bleed out in two hours unless I give every unit of blood we have to them and just keep it constantly streaming in. Then those 14 won't have what they need and they could go into shock and die." She shook her head.

Klinger then told her quietly, "You could do it, you know."

She looked back at him and said, "What do you mean, do what?"

He told her, "Operate." She shook her head but he continued, "I've seen you do it, major. Remember the aid station?"

Margaret shook her head and said, "Klinger that was different. Pierce was there to guide me and nothing I worked on was this serious. He handled all the serious cases. I can maybe handle those over here, but not the three most serious."

Klinger then asked solemnly, "What choice do you have? What do they have to lose? No one is coming and you are their only chance, major." It seemed to be sinking in, but he could tell she was terrified. So he told her after taking her arm, "I know you can do it, I've seen it."

Margaret then came to a decision after looking at the list Zale had made for her of them and their injuries. She told the nurses, "Get these men into the OR..." She pointed to the three most serious cases and then pointed to the others, "Bring these in as we normally do. Those four..." She walked over with the nurses and pointed to four men, "can be given a very low dose morphine as long as there is nothing on their dog tag that says otherwise, after you check for head injuries. These 8..." She pointed and walked over to the other 8 and said, "can be given aspirin. Again, check the dog tags. Most of these have more superficial wounds. Bind them and have them ready for when we finally get a doctor here. We've handled triage before, start them on IVs or plasma or whole blood as necessary. If you have a question about it, ask myself or Kellye, alright? The rest of them have broken bones, x ray everyone though and have the film lined up with each one in post op, got it?" They nodded and ran off.

Margaret at that point turned to see Mulcahy with the soldier on the jeep administering last rites. She took another deep breath as Klinger who had just brought her a cup of orange juice told her, "Here major."

She smiled and drank it as they practically ran back to the OR. "Thank you, come on, Klinger. Scrub up, I'll need you assisting me."

They scrubbed and went in where Kellye was still holding the man's bandage. Margaret directed her to monitor vitals while she tried to operate. She had no more than made the first incision when a shell went off very close to the compound. Everyone screamed and tried to cover the patients.

Margaret shouted, trying not to betray how terrified she was, not just at the situation, but she also had a closet fear of loud noises, and shell fire was the worst. She had to force the major in her to take over. "Cover the wounded! Do we have anyone else outside? Get them all indoors, now!"

The corpsman who had come in with coffee, dropped the cups and ran out to bark out the commands. More shells went off, one after the other. Nurse Baker then came over to take over for Klinger so he could go call to radio for help. Margaret was having flashbacks to the time when she and Hawkeye had worked together when everyone else in camp got the Asian flu. She had a new understanding of how frustrated he must have been as she seemed to face a similar impossible situation.

More shells were going off, but she thought she got all the shrapnel out of the patient in front of her. 'So far, so good,' she thought to herself. Kellye told her, "Pulse and pressure are stable, major. You did it!" She smiled to Margaret.

Margaret nodded and told Baker, "Close for me, but keep it a little loose. I want the doctors, whenever we get them, to be able to go back in and double check."

She took off the gloves and as another corpsman brought over an X-ray film on the next patient. It looked like he has swallowed a junkyard. She had to squint to count the shell fragments, "11, ok...Kellye, make sure he's under and give me the vitals." At that point another shell hit, so close they lost the lights for a second. She had to steel herself and then heard a scream coming from the compound.

Margaret ran out and told them to continue on while she checked things out. A new private who had just come into the camp a few days before had been in the mess tent when the camp was hit. He had mostly superficial wounds in his arm as he had covered his face with it when it went off.

She bent over him and told the frantic soldier, "Private! Let me see your arm." She checked it out as she told him, "Many times the wounds feel like they are burning, but young man you are stationed in the best possible place for this, a hospital." She helped him stand up and told him, "Now, come on over to pre op and we can get you something for the pain, alright?" At that point another shell went off that knocked her back about 5 feet.

It took a second for her to get up and when she did, she realized blood was oozing from her own arm. She winced as she tried to move it and said softly through grated teeth, "No, not now!"

The private looked at her and said, "Are you alright?"

She told him after swallowing, "Yes, soldier, I am. It does burn though, it burns me the way it burns you. Don't worry, like I said we are in the best possible place." They both then made their way back to pre op.

Nurse Bigelow greeted them and gasped, "Major! You're wounded!" She grabbed Margaret and tried to lead her over to a table herself.

Margaret shook her head and handed off the private first saying, "No, treat him. I'll be fine, its superficial." Bigelow then got the man to a table and went back to Margaret who was trying to wrap up her arm.

She told her, "Major, here let me." She poured alcohol over it, which stung like nobody's business. Margaret had to bite back a scream, but nodded to her head.

Once it was bandaged, Margaret got back into the OR. She noticed one table had been cleared, so she asked, "What happened to the soldier that was here?"

Kellye told her solemnly, "I'm sorry, ma'am, but we lost the pulse and couldn't get it back."

Margaret put her head down for a second and then called for new gloves going back to the patient with 11 holes. She proceeded to work on him. Shells were still going off all around them. More than once they almost lost power. She had Klinger and Father Mulcahy calling every hour for help and to check the patrols. She operated on the last man, three now in all and when she was done, came out of OR more beat than ever, the shelling had abated at least.

It was now 9am according to the clock on the wall. She told Kellye as she was taking off her scrubs, "I'm going to check on post op and the patients. I already sent Baker and Able to bed and their two hours are over. Get them up as you go in to the nurses' tent and have them relieve Anderson and Bigelow in post op. Then you three get two hours after getting a couple of corpsmen to help clean up in here. We're either going to ship out the men or get doctors in here. One or the other by noon. I'll drive them myself if I have to. If doctors do come in or ours show up, we'll need everybody back up again and this place ready."

She started to turn around, but Kellye stopped her, "In a minute, ma'am. That needs to be treated first though." She motioned to Margaret's arm.

Margaret almost laughed as she had forgotten about it. She relented and said, "If you insist."

Kellye smiled and said, "I do." They then went back in and she pulled out the shell fragments as Margaret sat on the table. She told her, "You should let me give you at least a local."

Margaret shook her head, unable to speak because of the pain. She finally got out in broken speech, "The wounded may need it."

Kellye told her, "Ma'am, in case you haven't noticed, you are one of the wounded."

Margaret tried to smile and then said, "How's the private doing?"

Kellye answered, "Anderson told me he was recovering fine. All the fragments stayed close to the surface, not as deep as these and he is bandaged up and ready to go back on patrol."

Margaret then told her as she finished with another swab of alcohol as Margaret refused penicillin, again for the wounded, "Hand me that bucket."

Kellye did and Margaret proceeded to vomit up that nasty coffee. Kellye then took a blood pressure cuff since Margaret couldn't really object. "130 over 90, major, you're in pain. Come on, you need something."

Margaret wiped her mouth and said, "Fine, aspirin." Kellye rolled her eyes but got it for her.

She told her then, "Major, I don't know how to tell you this, but I was quite amazed."

Margaret asked after swallowing the pills, "What do you mean?"

Kellye explained, "You operated on those men, during a shell attack with no doctors. Ma'am if you weren't here I don't know what we would have done! Every one of those men in post op owe their lives to you, you know."

Margaret tried to smile but said, "Thank you, but at least two of them don't."

Kellye told her, "No. Major, you saved over a dozen men last night. No one could have saved that first man, I know, I saw him a little while ago. And the one in here, major I'm not sure even Dr. Pierce or Potter could have saved him. You really deserve a commendation for what you did here."

Margaret then told her, "Thank you for that." She hopped down off the table and told her, "Now you, go get Baker and Able and then the rest of you get two hours. Then we'll do 4. Hopefully we can get the wounded out of here and to a hospital with actual doctors. Let's go." The two left.

Margaret alternated between post op and Potter's office. She ordered Klinger to sleep for two straight hours after making the last of the phone calls. Mulcahy then came in the office, "Major, I have most of the enlisted men in their quarters sleeping. Those that got to bed early are in the mess tent. Igor served what passed for breakfast and then left the rest with another private to dish out. I told him to sleep until it was time to prepare lunch."

She nodded and then told him, "Still no sign of Potter or the others." She shook her head, putting it down for a second. After taking a deep breath she told him, "We're still in command here. I have my nurses switching shifts to get some rest and watch those in post op. I've called the 8063rd and they say they can't handle any more. The 121st is now our only option. I plan to go over and make a list of those that would survive the trip and just evac them out. The others...we'll just have to keep watching I guess until they are stable enough to move."

Mulcahy then asked, "How many are there, of those others?"

Margaret answered, "3 can't be moved at all. They were the ones I worked on and one of those is doing better than the others. 4 others I worry about trying to transport, their pressure is still too low and 3 started running a fever. We can't keep many of the others, they had superficial wounds and broken bones. Those need to be set and I won't have my nurses doing that, I won't have them written up for going beyond the limits of their responsibilities and there is no reason they can't be transported." She swallowed and then looked down.

Mulcahy then took off his hat and walked over to a chair to sit down. He asked, "Major, if you don't mind...are you concerned about how you handled the crisis last night?"

Margaret softly told him, "Father, as a nurse, there are limits to what I can do, there is a line and last night...I went way passed that line." She was looking down at the report she had started to write explaining what happened.

Mulcahy then told her, "Major...Margaret..." She looked up at the sound of her name. He continued, "What you did last night was keep this camp focused and running. You took a potential disaster and saved so many young lives, including a young private scared beyond belief and injured himself. I saw him in post op just after he was treated."

Margaret then tried to explain, "Its against regulations, not just with the army, but..."

He interrupted again, "Margaret in those conditions, regulations don't mean very much. How many of those men would have died last night, had you abided by regulations?"

Margaret then conceded, "The men I operated on would have died I know. It's just..."

Before she could say anything else, Nurse Baker burst in the room, "Major...Private Harrison just went into arrest!"

Margaret jumped up as that was the last soldier she had tried to operate on. He had sustained 3 shell fragments to the chest, two to the shoulder and one in his neck and she was sure she got each one. However, his vital signs had deteriorated rapidly and despite her best efforts, along with those of Baker and Able, she had to finally step aside and let Father Mulcahy do his job. She hung her head down low and went back to Potter's office to finish the report. Now she had one more detail she hated to add.

After finishing the report she left it on Klinger's desk. Then she stepped outside. The warm air and cool breeze hit her at the same time. It really was a beautiful day, she just hoped Potter and the others...especially Hawkeye returned safely. She closed her eyes and headed to post op. Baker and Able were making the last of the notations so they could go take 4 hours this time. It was already 11am. She went over and they explained how the last two men she had operated on were doing, both seemed to be recovering as if any of the doctors had worked on them.

She told Baker to go get Anderson and Bigelow up and have them relieve them, letting Kellye get another 2 hours if possible. Kellye was the one who had put in the most time and the one that was more or less Margaret's second in command of the nurses.

After that, she got Rizzo to get a couple of jeeps running and corpsmen to volunteer to load up as many stable casualties as possible to transport to the 121st. Despite them telling her over and over again that they were not ready, she decided she had had enough. The 4077th wasn't ready and that didn't seem to matter to anyone and at least they had doctors.

As Margaret started assigning men to be moved and coordinating with Anderson and Bigelow they heard the ambulance horn honk over and over and over again. She ran out, about to panic again. Her nerves already shot from the night before and almost worn to a frazzle between the wounded and the shelling and the loss of the patients, she almost passed out when she saw the bright smile of Hawkeye Pierce as he jumped out and shouted, "Honey! We're home!"


	3. Chapter 3

3

Hawkeye had never been more glad to see that camp as he was this morning. After being stranded the night before thinking Radar had been captured or killed in the night, this place looked like heaven on earth. He never thought he had ever smiled so big, until he caught the look on Margaret's face. Then the smile left as quickly as it came.

He ran over to her as she looked like she was about to pass out. Before he could get a word out she told him, "Wounded in post op. We got hit last night with shell fire too."

Hawkeye discovered her bandage and asked, "Are you okay?" The concern in his eyes touched her deeply as he softly asked that.

She nodded and Potter came running over, "What's this I hear about wounded?" Half the camp had come out at the sound, thinking more had arrived and Potter had caught one of the enlisted saying, 'Not again.' The nurses had all come out also and started running in various directions, knowing the drill.

Margaret explained as they all surrounded her. As they walked into Post Op Frank and BJ started assessing those not as serious, the ones she had intended to send out. They immediately got to work. Potter and Hawkeye followed her over to the others. She carefully directed Potter to the ones that were stabilized but not operated on yet and he took over there. Only Hawkeye caught that there was something she didn't want him knowing.

He asked as she lead him to the other two, the ones she had operated on. "So tell me, what is it you don't want him to know about these two."

She took a deep breath and then almost whispered as she handed him the chart, "I operated on them."

"You what?" he asked. He looked shocked and then looked down at the chart.

She tried to explain, "I know I shouldn't have but they came in with chest wounds. They were bad, Michaels had an artery nicked and Edwards had five holes in his left lung and six in his colon. He couldn't breathe. I couldn't get them to the 8063rd without them dying on the way. I tried over and over again to get Dudley and Henderson who left without consulting me back and I tried to get the Aid Station to send cases like this anywhere else, but they got sent here anyway. I didn't know what to do..."

Hawkeye saw she was starting to panic even as she was saying everything softly enough so no one else could hear. He shook his head and told her, "Margaret, you don't need to explain. I get it. I can read this chart. If you hadn't done anything neither of them would be here right now."

Unfortunately Frank Burns overheard their conversation. He spoke up, "Major Houlihan! I'm surprised at you! Ashamed! Are you saying you performed an operation here!" He was almost shouting.

That got Potter and BJ's attention quickly. Before he could say any more Hawkeye told him, "Frank why don't you go find a nice little cut to bandage up and leave the rest of the wounded to us, huh?"

Potter came over at that point and only said, "Margaret, is that true?" The look on his face scared her, but there was really no time to explain. Men were already being taken back into the OR for surgery.

Hawkeye then spoke up, "Sir, I think we should discuss this later. We need to get to these men."

Frank then said in front of all of them, as BJ had now come over to figure out what was going on, shocked that Margaret had done such a thing as well, but acknowledging to himself that he didn't really have all the details. "I think Major Houlihan should be detained in her quarters until the appropriate officials can come and ascertain if a court marshal is in order..."

Hawkeye was livid, "Frank I think you need to go back to the wounded you can handle and leave the real cases to us. Margaret isn't going anywhere..." He took her hand and then walked the two out, "She's assisting me."

They got into the scrub room and she started to change. He peeked behind the curtain just as she walked through it and told her as he followed her to the wash basin, "Listen, the vitals on both of them look good. I've got X-ray orders in now and we'll see how things are. I caught that you closed loosely so I can get back in easily, good work."

She was fighting so hard to keep the emotions at bay, so she could only nod at first. Finally she was able to say, "I hope it was good enough, doctor."

Hawkeye couldn't touch her because they were both sterile now, but he did block her path. He told her, "It was, Margaret. It got them to right now. Without surgery last night, they wouldn't be here. Irregardless of what anyone says, you saved their lives, military protocol be damned."

She nodded and followed him in. It was another 10 more agonizing hours of surgery before it was all over. Hawkeye had shown her as he went back in and double checked things, that all of her sutures were strong. He told her more than once, and loudly enough for all to hear, that he couldn't have done any better. He even cracked a couple of jokes asking when she was going to med school so she could replace him and he could go home, and more than once suggesting that she could replace Frank right now.

As the marathon session went on and on, Margaret was feeling worse and worse. She wouldn't admit it to anyone though. She had to wipe her eyes and forehead more than once and her arm was really starting to ache. On top of all that she was feeling more and more nauseous. She thought that was odd, given that she hadn't even eaten out of the mess tent all day.

After they sent the last one to post op to properly recover, Margaret never thought she had ever been so tired. She sat down behind the curtain and almost feel asleep. Since she had been sent out by Potter, none of the others thought she was still around.

They didn't see her, but she could hear every word of the conversation. Potter's voice was the first she heard, "I'm not saying I'm going to have her court martialed Pierce! I'm just saying I need the facts."

Before he could say anything else Frank spoke up again in that whiny voice of his, "What more facts do you need Colonel? She said so herself that she operated on two men. That's not just a violation of military protocol, but there are ethical considerations here too..."

Hawkeye then piped in much louder, "Ethical considerations?! How is saving lives unethical? What about this war is ethical!? Margaret didn't disobey army regulations for the fun of it Frank, she did it because she didn't have any other options. What was she supposed to do? Huh? We weren't here! The doctors sent to replace us, weren't here! What exactly were she and those soldiers supposed to do? Wait in pre op with a handful of 5 year old magazines and wait for who knows how many hours for a doctor that might arrive? They didn't have that kind of time Frank!"

Frank then said, "How can you of all people condone what she did? She is a nurse, not a doctor. She should have acted as a nurse, not tried to run this camp as if she were in charge..."

BJ then piped in, "If I recall correctly though, Frank, she was the ranking officer last night."

Frank then answered again, "Only because we weren't here, and that's beside the point anyway."

BJ then asked, "I thought you liked Margaret...why are you so against her now?"

Frank then answered smugly, "I do like Margaret, as much as any other officer in this camp. There is no special relationship between the two of us..." Hawkeye, BJ and Potter all looked at each other as if not believing he was trying to sell this again. But he continued, "Therefore I do not think it would be wise for me to try to cover this up. When I Corps finds out that we let a nurse operate on a soldier, we will be feeling the full brunt of their displeasure and I for one, am not going to be held accountable for her actions. I will officially make the request for a court martial if you refuse to do so and at least have that on my record. I won't have this ruin my career." He threw his scrubs in the bin and marched out.

The other three men all left, each voicing their opinion. They never knew Margaret was behind that screen the whole time, virtually in tears, nerves frayed she thought beyond repair. She took a few deep breaths and then slowly made her way to her tent.

Back in Potter's office, Klinger had just sat back down, looking over the paperwork Margaret had left on Radar's desk. He shook his head as he read it. She was taking full responsibility for everyone's actions. Basically she reported that if anything were deemed "inappropriate" she was the sole person responsible, including for the deaths of 3 men, none of which probably could have been saved anyway.

Potter came in with BJ and Hawkeye each explaining as best they could in Margaret's behalf, more or less. Hawkeye seemed to be the most vocal whereas BJ kept saying they needed all the facts.

Potter stopped at the desk and asked Klinger, "Is that the report on last night?"

Klinger really didn't want to give it to him yet. He hedged, but Potter took it anyway and read it over as they three walked into his office. BJ and Hawkeye kept looking at each other but kept silent as the senior officer read to himself.

As he put it down Hawkeye asked, "Well...what does it say?"

Klinger then burst in, "I'm sorry sir, but there is more to what happened last night than what is in that report."

The men looked back at him and Potter motioned to him as they all sat down, "Explain corporal."

Klinger then told them about how Major Houlihan had tried for hours to get help, not just doctors in the camp but patrols to search for them. Then how when everyone seemed to panic at the news of incoming wounded, she kept everyone grounded and showed real leadership. For a moment, and he didn't know why, Hawkeye was extremely proud of her. Then he explained how many times she had him calling other units for support and got nothing, how she had assessed the wounded and determined that operating was the only option. Her initial plan of binding wounds and waiting would only work on so many and they did that on those cases. She only took charge when she had to save the lives of the others and conserve their supply of blood for all those who needed it. He ended with, "She called every two and four star she could and they even blew her off!"

After hearing all this Potter then took a deep breath. "Well, it seems clear to me that she didn't really have any other options, at least according to corporal Klinger. The problem is, I need more than just one statement from one enlisted man..."

Before he could finish Klinger said, "Hold that thought...I'll have Lt. Kellye and Father Mulcahy in here double quick." He then bolted.

Hawkeye and Potter both looked at BJ who had been quiet this whole time, more or less. Potter asked him, "Well, what do you think about all this Hunnicut?"

Hawkeye watched BJ as he shrugged and then said, "I don't know what to think Col. Potter. I know what nurses should do and what they shouldn't. I also know that we live in chaos and sometimes rules and regulations don't make a lot of sense in this chaos. I guess I'm just glad I wasn't in her position last night."

Hawkeye then spoke up, "Look, I think we can agree as doctors, that by looking at those charts, she did the only thing she could. She didn't operate on all of them, only the most serious, the ones that really stood nothing to lose. However, the rest of the men did stand to lose everything if they had run out of whole blood. And given the circumstances with the shelling...I mean its hard enough for us to remain composed in a situation like that and we've got each other for support. She had no one, really that is. I mean...what would have happened if she would have just sat on everyone? Those two men in post op would be dead right now."

Before he could say anything else, Frank Burns walked in. "Three men are dead right now, Pierce." He threw down two charts of his own and one from the morgue detail report as the van had just arrived to pick them up. "How is that going to look Colonel Potter? Huh? We let an unqualified..."

Hawkeye jumped in then and said, "We didn't do anything Frank, remember? We weren't here. She was the only one here."

Frank then butted in again, "Colonel I hope you will take into consideration your ethical responsibility to the integrity of this unit..."

Potter had heard just about enough and hollered, "Enough! I will look over the charts myself. I have Major Houlihan's account of what happened, Corporal Klinger's account..."

Frank interrupted again, "You can't take the word of that pervert..."

Potter continued, "And I expect to have a report from the nurses and Father Mulcahy. Pierce..." He turned to Hawkeye and BJ, "You and BJ go over and bring me everything we have on the all the men Major Houlihan worked on. I also want the men who didn't make it brought into the OR where myself and BJ can conduct autopsies to determine if there was any hint of malpractice."

Before he could finish Hawkeye interrupted this time, "Colonel Potter, you can't hold her to the same standard you do us. She's not a surgeon. She was acting in extreme circumstances."

Frank then chimed in again, "That's what I've been arguing the whole time!"

Hawkeye was about to punch Frank so Potter stepped between the two and said, "Now Pierce!" At that point the two men left.

Father Mulcahy had just received word from Klinger what Frank was trying to do and he was livid. His first thought was of Margaret and he told Klinger, "I'll be in the office in just a minute. You and the nurses go on ahead. I want to check on the major first." They all agreed and left him. Kellye especially was angry about what she had heard Frank Burns was trying to do.

Father Mulcahy tapped lightly on Margaret's tent door. "Major, I hate to disturb you..."

The door slowly opened and he had never seen Margaret look as devastated as she did at that moment. She told him as she tried to compose herself, "Not at all Father, please come in."

The two walked in and he could see where she had tried to hide tissues under her blanket. She sat down on her cot and he sat in the chair. He wasn't quite sure what to say so just went with the first thing that came to mind. He took off his hat, "Major I understand that Major Burns has expressed some concern over the activities of last night..."

She chuckled for a second which caught him by surprise, "Expressed some concern?" she asked. "Don't you mean he's trying to get a court martial started at this very minute." She then just shook her head, which was starting to pound more and more.

Mulcahy then asked, "Major, are you feeling alright? You don't look all that well yourself."

Margaret answered, "I'm just tired that's all. Have you talked to Colonel Potter yet?"

Mulcahy answered, "No, uh not yet. I was on my way but I wanted to check on you first. I still think you should be proud of what you did, how you lead us last night. I have no idea what Major Burns is trying to accomplish here, but no matter military protocol, you did the right thing as far as I am concerned."

Margaret smiled and then told him, "Thank you for that." She then inhaled and stood up saying, "If you don't mind I should probably go with you. I want to make sure no one, not even you takes any punishment for anything that happened. I was the one in command and you along with everyone else were following my orders."

He nodded and the two left. They encountered Potter, Frank along with Klinger and Lt. Kellye in the office. Kellye was explaining, "Sir, I've never seen anyone take charge and do what she did for us last night." She then pointed angrily at Burns and said, "And you! You wouldn't have known what to if you had a manual sitting right in front of you last night! She went by the book and she tried to get help but no one would listen!" Her voice was rising. "If it weren't for her this whole camp would have fallen apart! And I know she did a hell of a lot better job than you could and she probably did the same in the operating room!"

Frank jumped up and then shouted at her, "Insubordination! How dare you speak to superior officer like that!"

Kellye didn't back down, "We were under attack! Everyone was scared and terrified and she went out in that to bring more wounded in and got wounded herself!"

Before she could say anymore Potter interrupted, "Wounded? Major Houlihan was wounded?" He now looked much more concerned as he walked around the desk.

Kellye explained, "Yes, she was. A shell hit close to the mess tent where a private was sitting. She ran out, in the line of fire and brought him into pre op to be treated, but not before another shell went off and she took 8 fragments in her arm." She then gestured to Potter as to where the fragments landed on her arm.

Frank then asked, "How do you know she really took shell fragments. She could have just been making that up to cover for what she was really doing, operating, way out of line."

Kellye then said, "I know she wasn't faking anything. I..." she was pointing to herself vigorously, "pulled each one out. She wouldn't even take a local or any pain medication other than aspirin because she didn't want to deprive the wounded and they were in deep too."

Potter then put his hand up in front of Frank before he could say anything else. "Alright now...Lt. Kellye is that your official statement on what happened last night?" Kellye nodded and he continued, "Fine, type it up and turn it in, in the morning."

As she left the room she told Frank, "If so much as one red mark lands in her file for this, rest assured that what Hawkeye Pierce has done to you in the past will pale in comparison to what us nurses will do to you."

As she left Margaret and Mulcahy walked in. Mulcahy took off his hat again and said after opening the door for Margaret to go into Potter's office, "You wanted to see us, sir?"

Frank spoke up again, "Not both of you, just you Father. Major Houlihan should wait outside."

They both looked at Potter who nodded sadly and she left. As she went into the outer office she sat down on Radar's cot. At that point he and Klinger came in. Klinger asked her, "Are you alright major?"

She was lost in thought and barely caught that he asked her something and nodded, "Yes, corporal, I'm fine, sorry. How are the wounded in post op?"

Radar then answered, "Ah, just fine, ma'am. We were just making notes for Captains Hunnicut and Pierce on all the soldiers in there. They told us to write all this down to give to Colonel Potter, but he's busy now."

Margaret nodded and said, "Yes, he is. He is in right now with Father Mulcahy and Major Burns." Radar's sixth sense still amazed her in some ways.

Klinger asked, "Do you want anything, major?"

She still seemed dazed but looked up at him, "What?"

Radar and Klinger looked at each other, she didn't really seem well to them at all. Klinger repeated himself, "Do you want anything, any coffee or orange juice? I hear 1948 was a good year for powdered orange juice."

She chuckled and answered, "No corporal, but thank you for asking."

They could then hear loud voices coming out of the office. It was rare that Mulcahy raised his voice but he was so angry, "I am acrimonious! I cannot believe for one second what you are implying Major Burns! That woman..." He pointed into the outer office, "held this camp together in the midst of utter destruction! She worked tirelessly, forsaking her own health to see that others were taken care of. I cannot believe you would accuse her of grandstanding and acting in an improper manner. I can assure you that it is highly improper for a priest to hit another human being, but if you want to see improper, I can show you improper!" Potter had to jump between the two as Mulcahy almost punched Frank out himself.

At that point Radar and Klinger were up against the door. Margaret was too tired and achy now to even move much so she just sat there. BJ and Hawkeye came in with more charts, or copies that is and didn't even see her.

BJ said, "Ah, excuse us fellas," as they broke between the two. "Colonel we have the files right here if you want to look them over."

Mulcahy seemed to calm down then and Potter asked, "Well, leave them on the desk. Are the three unfortunate soldiers ready in OR?"

Hawkeye then told them, "Yes they are Colonel and I can tell you by just looking at one, there was no way any of us could have saved him. He took a shot to the head, grey matter was all around the exit wound."

Potter took a deep breath and then said, "Ok, BJ, you ready?"

Frank then said, "I'm sorry, but I must object. Hunnicut is a friend of Margaret's. He can't be objective..."

Before he could say much more all the men were arguing again. Radar and Klinger were watching in the window. Margaret silently got up and walked out the door. The last thing she heard was Frank saying, "They died anyway! If anything she only prolonged their suffering!" It was now 11pm again, about 24 hours since this whole nightmare had started. She had never slept, never ate really, but had thrown up twice. She also had wounds in her arm that were beyond achy and just made her feel bad all over. She only whispered softly that she needed some air. Radar more or less nodded back and she left. She began walking, but went past her tent and out of the camp.


	4. Chapter 4

4

Hawkeye almost knocked Klinger and Radar down as the arguing mass of men pushed their way out of the office. Potter bellowed, "Now hold on! Radar!"

The corporal turned from the file that he was pretending to file away as the men came in, "Ah yes sir?"

He walked over to him, "Get on the horn to I Corps and find out if we are to expect any casualties for the next 24 hours."

Radar nodded and said, "And I'll find out if they've already received any of the reports of us missing and tell them that we're home also."

Potter then said, "Oh and find out if they've already...oh right, yes...do all that." He turned back around. "BJ, are you ready? Let's go get this over with." BJ nodded and then Potter shot off one more warning, "You two..." he pointed to Frank and Hawkeye, "go to separate corners until I get back. Oh and that applies to you too Padre. In fact Frank, you take post op duty for the rest of the night."

Mulcahy nodded and the men looked at each other for a second after the other two left before Frank could complain.

Frank huffed, "I don't see why I get stuck with post op," but then left himself.

Hawkeye just shook his head and then asked Mulcahy, "Do you know where Margaret is? Is she still in her tent?"

Mulcahy then seemed to suddenly realize she had left, "Oh, well...she came in with me and was waiting out here."

Radar and Klinger just looked at each other and then Radar remembered, "Oh, uh seems like she said something about needing air or something."

Klinger then said, "She's probably in her tent. I don't think she got as much sleep as the rest of us."

Hawkeye then said as he left, "On top of being wounded herself." He shook his head, "I'm gonna go check her tent. I want to take a look at that wound."

He went to her tent and knocked, but no answer. After turning on the light he noticed all the tissues she had hidden, along with a small amount of blood on a shirt on top of her laundry hamper. His concern started to grow.

As he came back around the corner he ran into Klinger who was just starting patrol duty for the night. "Klinger, have you seen Major Houlihan at all?"

He shook his head and said, "Did you check the showers?"

Hawkeye then answered, "I walked past it, but didn't hear anything. I'll go in and check there, the latrines, and the swamp. Can you check post op for me and the O Club?"

Klinger nodded and the two parted ways. After not finding so much as a clue, meeting up again, Hawkeye said, "Maybe she took a walk over by Rosie's. Cover for me." Klinger nodded and Hawkeye ran off.

Meanwhile, Potter and BJ finished examining the first private brought in that Margaret had left on the helicopter. Potter sighed and said, "This man should never have even been brought to camp."

BJ then asked, "So why was he?" as he laid the sheet back over the man's face. It didn't even take an investigation really. It was clear the man had suffered too severe a brain trauma to have survived.

Potter said as he changed gloves and went to the next man. "He had a pulse. Margaret wrote that she took the next man, one of those who is recovering just fine instead. He had so much shrapnel in him that his bowels must have looked like swiss cheese."

BJ said as he went over to the next man to join Potter. "That's a hell of a decision to make."

Potter nodded and then said, "And its the exact same one you or I would have made. That man there didn't stand a chance but the other man did. She made the right call, whether or not she should have been the one to make it."

BJ said, "Agreed."

Potter picked up the chart and then said, "This one is the one that concerns me. Says here that she had to run out because she heard screams in the compound and left him with the other nurses. Apparently he arrested and after trying for four minutes, they couldn't bring him back."

BJ then said as they pulled the blanket back, "Sir, even if she hadn't left, if we go by Frank, she shouldn't have done anything. She would have just sat on her hands here and watched him die."

Potter nodded and made the first incision in his chest cavity where most of the damage was done. After getting inside they found over 20 pieces of metal all in the lungs. Potter sighed as he moved some things around, "She couldn't have saved this one either. I'm not sure any of us could. Look at his liver." He pulled back more so BJ could see there were even larger fragments there sticking out.

BJ sighed himself, "There's nothing left." He shook his head.

They put everything back and headed over to the last table. Potter read the chart, "Seems she pulled out most of the fragments from his neck, shoulder and chest."

BJ made the incision and they did a thorough inspection. They couldn't find a single place she missed until BJ caught a hole in the back of the heart. He looked up and Potter caught the expression on his face, "You found it?"

BJ answered, "Yeah, back wall of the left ventricle. I'm not sure I would have caught that and I'm not sure how I would have fixed it even if I did."

Potter answered, "Well, I guess we have our answer now as to why he arrested as quickly as he did. However, it could also mean that the hole was minuscule when she initially went in. Had she found it or if it had been us, if we had found it...the outcome may have been different."

BJ then said, "I understand that colonel, but I can't say with any degree of certainty that I would have. It was on the underside. There's no damage on this side."

Potter then said as he started taking off the gloves, "I know that, but sometimes shell fragments have a way of ricocheting and ping ponging around the body once inside."

BJ then said as he replaced everything and then followed Potter out. "I think holding her to that kind of standard is too much."

Potter handed the morgue detail all the forms and then kept the originals as he nodded to BJ and said as they then walked back over to the swamp, "I take it you are on Hawkeye's side in this?"

BJ said, "I know we have to have guidelines and procedures and I know there is a spoken and unspoken rule as it relates to nurses and doctors, but..." They stopped in front of the swamp, "yeah, I'm on her side. I can't image what hell this place was just 24 hours ago. I can't imagine myself being the one in charge knowing that over a dozen lives hung in the balance waiting on my decision. I think she should be commended, not condemned for what she did."

Potter nodded and said, "Agreed. Burns can file all he wants, once I get my recommendations in, they won't mean a thing."

BJ smiled and then said, "I'm sure both Margaret and Hawkeye will be glad to hear that."

The two men went into the swamp about to tell him when they realized, he wasn't there at all.

Hawkeye had just come out of Rosie's hoping to find Margaret, maybe a slightly imbibed Margaret, but a Margaret none the less. She wasn't there and his concern was growing by the second now. He jogged back to camp, checking her tent just one more time before heading over to the swamp. He found the others there.

Hawkeye didn't exactly know what to tell them. He did note that at least Frank wasn't there to claim she went AWOL yet. Potter asked him, "Where have you been?"

He took a deep breath and answered, "Looking for Margaret, I can't find her." He ran his hand through his hair to get it out of his eyes.

BJ asked from the still where he had poured him and Potter a drink, "What do you mean?"

The two men walked over to Hawkeye who answered, "I mean I can't find her, as in, she's not in this camp, as in I don't know where she is or how badly exactly it is she's hurt or..."

BJ then patted his back and said as Potter left, "We'll find her. I'm sure she's fine, probably off hiding somewhere trying to get a few hours of uninterrupted sleep."

Hawkeye then asked, "What did you two find out?" He was a little anxious about asking that.

BJ answered as they heard Potter call for Klinger and a jeep, "We found out there really wasn't anything Margaret could have done." He shook his head, "Two of them had no chance, there was just too much damage. The other one, well...let's just say we both agree, she did everything she could. Any other decision would have cost at least two more men their lives and any of us would probably have done the same thing."

Hawkeye took a deep breath as Potter came back in. "I want you and BJ to head out by the road behind the mess tent, that field you guys are always messing around in. Just make sure to stay clear of the mine field that's there. Klinger and I will take the road leading away by Rosie's. We'll take one jeep, you two take the other in case she's not there. Hopefully we'll just run into her as she's making her way back in." They nodded and all headed out.

Margaret had moved way past tired. In fact she was so tired at that point that it was becoming more and more difficult to breathe. Her arm throbbed and her head hurt and she just felt miserable all over. Her steps were coming slower and slower. Everything the men had said, she just replayed over and over in her mind.

The words that struck her the most were from Frank. Of course she wanted to dwell on those from Hawkeye, her loudest advocate, but Frank saying she only prolonged the agony of death for two soldiers, just gnawed and gnawed at her. It went against everything in her, she was a nurse for crying out loud. She should be easing suffering, not prolonging it. Yet, thinking back to all her decisions, she couldn't really pinpoint where she had made a major mistake.

She got to the end of the field and found herself face to face with the warning sign for the mine field. She hadn't really even planned to walk in this direction but merely found herself here. 'Maybe its fate' she thought to herself and slowly put one foot onto the forbidden ground.

Nothing. She took another step. Nothing. She felt like she was playing Russian roulette. 'Fate would be her judge' she thought to herself. She took another step and then another and found herself in the middle in no time.

She started to cry again. She couldn't even do this right. After inhaling sharply again she retraced her steps back and reached that same sign again. At that point she just slid down beside a rather large bolder.

That is where Hawkeye found her. Flashlight in hand he walked calling her name when he thought he spotted her, "Margaret!" He jogged up to her.

She just sat there, her eyes were open but she didn't seem to really register his presence right away. He called back, "Beej! I found her! Bring the jeep!"

He knelt down in front of her, "Margaret, where have you been, I've been worried sick."

She just looked up at him and said very softly, "I just...I needed some air that's all."

Hawkeye was looking her over and said softly to her, "Margaret, when was the last time you got some sleep?"

Margaret barely kept her eyes open as she told him, "I don't remember. Two days ago I guess..." She started blinking. "I didn't want them to suffer...I didn't...I tried..." she dissolved into tears at that point.

Hawkeye moved closer and pulled her into an embrace as she cried, "I know you tried. Two men are alive now because of what you did. You didn't prolong anyone's suffering." He was holding her more tightly now, patting her back as she cried.

She sobbed out, "Yes I did. Frank made it clear, I..."

He pulled her back for a second and said, "Frank doesn't know what he's talking about. I talked Potter and BJ and they told me about those three. You did what any one of us would have done, including me. Don't beat yourself up over this and don't let Frank do that either."

She nodded and BJ pulled the jeep up to them. Hawkeye turned around as he called out, "Margaret! Hawk, is she ok?"

Hawkeye then told him, "Yeah, I think so, but her arm is bleeding. I wanna get an X-ray and get her into OR and take a look at it myself. She's also exhausted." He then turned to her and said softly, "Can you stand up?"

She nodded and then tried to stand, thinking that of course she could stand. Her legs didn't agree and she practically collapsed into Hawkeye's arms. He caught her and said, "Margaret!"

BJ came rushing around the jeep, "Hawk, what's wrong with her?" He moved to her other side as she tried to balance herself and get her bearings back, almost cursing her legs for giving way.

Hawkeye said as he got her in his arms carrying her, "I don't know. Beej, here...help me get in the back or just... help her in beside me. She doesn't have a lot of strength right now on her own."

They maneuvered around and BJ told him as he helped her into the back almost cradled in Hawkeye's arms, "She feels hot, her skin that is."

Hawkeye then picked up her wrist as BJ ran around to drive the jeep back to camp. He said, "I think you're right, she is running a fever. Her pulse is a little slow too and I'm betting her blood pressure is down."

BJ said as he drove, "You think she's in shock?"

Hawkeye then said as he watched her fight to remain conscious, "Yeah I do. When we get there grab an IV and I'll grab a blood pressure cuff. I'd also like to re irrigate those wounds with a local and get her some pain medication and something to help her sleep once she's stable. I really don't think she is right now."

The jeep roared in and BJ helped Hawkeye get her out and move her into the OR. After telling Radar to radio Potter and Klinger that they had found her, he hurried into the room she now lay.

Still barely aware of what was going on she heard Hawkeye say, "90 over 50, damn it. You got that IV?"

Her head turned to hear and more importantly feel BJ as he started it, "Right here. Come on, Margaret, don't go to sleep on us. You can do better than 90 over 50."

Hawkeye caused her to look sharply back at him as he carefully cut off the bandages on her arm. He took a deep breath and said, "BJ take a look at this. Let's get her to X-ray. I want to make sure all the fragments are gone and then we can clean it out again. I'm going to go ahead and give her a local here. No doubt the pain is contributing to her shock."

BJ nodded as Hawkeye got the medicine and injected it into her arm. They then wheeled her into the X-ray room and took the picture. Hawkeye took her blood pressure again. She heard him, "Better, 100 over 60." They wheeled her back and Hawkeye held her hand as they waited for BJ to come back with the film.

He told her, "Just relax now, alright. You're in good hands." He then smiled at her, "Of course if you had ever taken me up on any of my previous offers you would know just how good those hands are." She smiled a little and he continued, "There now, that's what I was looking for, that smile. Just hang in there for me ok? Everything is going to be just fine."

BJ then came in and they looked at the X-ray. He told Hawkeye, "Looks like they got it all, but she could use another stitch or two here..." he pointed on the film, "and here."

Hawkeye then said, "And they're infected. Now that she's stable let's get her some morphine and something to help her sleep. Then we can treat it. She's been through enough in the last 24 hours. Klinger said he didn't think she had slept all that much and she admitted basically the same thing to me before we brought her in." BJ nodded and after she lost her battle to stay awake, they did just that.


	5. Chapter 5

5

Potter knocked lightly and then entered Margaret's tent where he knew Hawkeye was watching over her. He had checked on her as they were carrying her by litter into her quarters and got the whole rundown on her injuries. Now that it was daylight again, he just wanted to see how she was.

Slowly opening the tent he found Hawkeye asleep in her chair with his stethoscope still around his neck and a blood pressure cuff around her arm. Hawkeye jerked awake and said, "Colonel Potter..." he grasped his chest, "I think you just sent my blood pressure up a few degrees."

Potter said softly, "Sorry about that. How's she doing?" He looked over at her sleeping on her cot with an IV.

Hawkeye answered as he leaned over himself. "Her temp is still too high. We started penicillin right after cleaning the wounds out. About four of the deep wounds had already started swelling." He shook his head, "Her blood pressure is back up in the normal range again, she's no longer dehydrated, and she's stable, but I don't like that temp."

Potter asked, "How high is it?"

Hawkeye grabbed a thermometer, "Let's see shall we?" After the three minutes he pulled it back and read it, "104...damn." He shook his head.

Potter patted his shoulder and said, "What about a cold compress?"

Hawkeye nodded and said, "I was hoping the penicillin would do the trick without having to do that. I don't really want her uncomfortable. She was so exhausted last night and not just physically. I've never seen her break down that way, colonel."

Potter then told him, "Well, after what she's been through in the last 48 hours I don't blame her. Listen, you look a little exhausted yourself. Why don't you take a break and let BJ or Frank take over?"

Hawkeye shot him a look and said, "Frank? I don't want Frank anywhere near her." He turned back to look at her, "I can't believe him. One minute he wants her court martialed and the next minute he comes in here, tries to wake her up so he can apologize. I guess he realized it will be harder to date her if she's in Leavenworth."

Potter told him, "I know, I know...but you need a break."

He interrupted again, "No, she needs a break. From him, from this place, from..."

Potter stopped him again as he took a deep breath. "I know, son. I'll go get BJ, alright? I'll take the shift in post op and he can watch over her. You get some sleep. I know Frank will be in there with you, but just ignore him, alright?"

Reluctantly Hawkeye agreed and Potter left. Margaret started to stir just a little and that got Hawkeye's attention. He leaned over her to hear her mutter, "No...there's too many...I can't...No! Get Down!" she shot up in bed.

Hawkeye grabbed her around her arms and pulled her to him as he moved to sit on her bed. "It's ok, it's over now. You're alright, I'm right here." He had her in a tight hug for a few seconds and patted her back.

After taking a few deep breaths trying to stop crying she pulled back and looked at him. She told him, "What...what happened? How did I get in here?" She tried to straighten her hair out some but was still so groggy and achy.

He pushed back a strand of hair for her and told her, "We brought you in here last night. We figured you would be more comfortable in here instead of post op with the men. I never left, you were never alone, alright. It's ok. Why don't you lay back down and get some more rest." He softly pushed her back and then for whatever reason, ran the palm of his hand over her cheek, softly brushing away a tear. He let it linger there for a second as they got lost in each other's eyes for a second.

Her eyes drifted closed again and he took a deep breath. These feelings were hitting him hard all of a sudden. If she weren't so sick he would have kissed her, he knew, and not a hard passionate kiss, but a soft loving one. 'Where did that come from?' he thought to himself.

BJ interrupted his thoughts as he came in. "Colonel Potter sent me over so you can get a break."

Hawkeye nodded and then pointed to things on the chart BJ had picked up off her desk. "Her temp is still too high. Potter and I decided to do cold compresses. I'll get Kellye to come in and help with that along with a fresh IV."

BJ nodded and told him, "Now go on and get out of here. I'll take care of her."

Hawkeye looked over at her one more time and then nodded back to him, but didn't leave without saying, "Alright, just come get me if anything changes."

BJ just smiled as he left and whispered to Margaret, "You know it must be nice having your own personal physician, one willing to stay up all night. As much as he pokes fun at the 'secret' nature of your relationship with Frank, I doubt he realizes he has a 'secret' just as big." He settled in after taking her vitals and started to apply the cold compresses as Kellye arrived with them.

Two hours later Kellye left Margaret's tent. She bumped into Frank as she walked across camp with the bucket of water they had used for the compresses. In a split second she knew she couldn't stop the bucket from hitting him and probably splashing him with cold water so she actually pushed it just a little so it would soak him. "Oh sorry, major," she said sarcastically.

"You did that on purpose!" He spouted back angrily. He didn't however wait for a reply, but stomped off to Margaret's tent.

As Frank opened the door, BJ turned around from the letter he was reading from Peg at Margaret's desk. BJ asked, "Something I can help you with, Frank?"

Frank answered in a whiny voice, "What are you doing here? Major Houlihan doesn't need a babysitter, Captain Hunnicut."

BJ sighed and answered, "I'm here because she still has a fever. What I still don't know is what you need, Frank."

Frank then walked over, "So, how high is her fever? I thought Pierce was just being his usual selfish self last night, not letting me talk to her. Its important, imperative that I speak with her. Alone."

BJ shook his head and turned all the way around to face Frank, "Her fever has come down a little, but only because of the cold compresses we just finished. I'm not going anywhere and I don't think she needs to be disturbed either Frank. What she needs is rest."

Frank whined again, "But she's been resting. All day! You know that much rest isn't good either. One can loose muscle function and..."

BJ cut him off by saying, "Only by being sedentary for weeks on end, that's not the case here Frank. She's still got a fever of 100.4 last time I checked. Potter put me in charge of her care for now, so if you have any complaints, go talk to him. As far as I'm concerned, she sleeps. Got it?"

Frank then "accidentally" knocked her lamp over to make a loud noise as he was pretending to turn to leave. He looked back at her quickly to see if she would move, hoping she would wake up and tell BJ to shove off. She didn't and when he looked back at BJ, he was glaring at him. All Frank said was, "It was just an accident."

BJ then pointed to the door and said as quietly but sternly as possible, "Leave, now."

As soon as he was out the door Margaret whispered, "Thank you."

BJ sat on the cot next to her hip and smiled as she opened her eyes. "You're welcome. How are you feeling?"

She answered, "Horrible, my arm hurts and I feel like I'm going to drown in my own sweat." She tried to maneuver on the cot, but BJ put his hands on her shoulders to try to keep her still.

He told her, "Just try to stay still. The sweat is a good sign. You've been running a high fever for hours now. We were getting worried about it. The cold compresses seem to have worked though."

Margaret then asked as she laid there and he sat back up, "How bad was I?"

BJ told her, "Well, what all do you remember?"

She answered that she remembered Hawkeye carrying her and riding in the jeep, then she remembered taking X-rays and the two talking about her treatment. "After that it gets fuzzy," she concluded.

BJ nodded and said, "You were in shock and exhausted. Both Kellye and Klinger told us about how you refused to be treated properly, or eat or sleep properly. Vomiting because of the pain, the high blood pressure initially, and I'm sure you could feel the infection set in. All of those things just made you condition worse, but it didn't sound like you had a lot of time to be sick." He shook his head and then told her, "Margaret after hearing about everything that happened while we were gone, I can't imagine what you went through and I'm not surprised we found you the way we did."

She then asked, "So you aren't angry with me for what I did?"

BJ then smiled and told her, "No, I'm not. As a matter of fact I think you deserve a metal for it. I'm not sure I would have performed any better under that kind of pressure. I guess that's why you outrank me." They both chuckled for a second.

Margaret then asked, "How high did my fever get and for how long?"

BJ answered, "It got up to almost 105. For a while there I thought we were going to have to sedate Hawkeye too, but we were pushing the penicillin then, we had an IV in and your blood pressure was improving. We both figured you needed pain medication and something to make you sleep for a several hours. You needed rest, fluids, medication, and time to heal that's all. And this is where I ask, how much pain are you in now?"

Margaret then shifted around a bit, rubbing her wound lightly with her other hand, just before BJ could stop her put it back to her side. "It actually does hurt pretty bad and it only feels like its getting worse."

BJ told her, "Ok, stay right there and I mean it, no movement." Once she agreed he got up and got a vile and needle and began injecting it into her IV. "Alright here's just a little morphine to help with that. Now..." he put the needle back down, "why don't you just lay back there and get another nap, let that just sink in and relax. I'll be right here and when you wake up we can get one of the nurses to help you take a shower and change your bedsheets, alright?" She nodded and fell right back to sleep.

Hawkeye woke up with a start as Frank slammed the Swamp door shut. He heard him mumbling to himself, "Why don't I get more sleep, why don't I get some chow in the mess tent...why won't that old coot let me see my Margaret." He threw his hat on his bed and sat down.

Hawkeye then sat up and said as he was putting his pants on, "Why don't you just leave her alone for a little while Frank and let her recover."

Frank then shot back, "Why don't you mind your own beeswax! I don't have to take this from you!" Then he got up and huffed out.

Hawkeye didn't care where he went as long as it wasn't in Margaret's direction. He got his boots laced and headed out. He knocked quietly on her door and then opened it. Only BJ was in there. He ask almost panicked as her bed seemed to have been made as if no one ever slept there, "Where is she? What happened?"

It took BJ a second but then he understood what Hawkeye was thinking and stood up to tell him, "She's just in the shower. Her fever broke so I had Kellye go with her to make sure she didn't fall or anything while she was changing. She's still a little groggy from the morphine."

Hawkeye then took a couple of deep breaths and held on to the door frame, "Oh, yeah, sure, that's great. It is, that's good news." He kept nodding over and over.

BJ just smiled and said, "You ok there, you look like you're about to have a stroke."

Hawkeye then covered quickly and said, "Oh sure, I'm fine. You know just worried as a doctor, you know, in a professional sense." He started gesturing with his hands.

BJ tried hard to bite back a laugh and looked down before saying, "Uh huh, of course." Then he looked around for a second as Hawkeye wasn't leaving and then said, "You know if you want to you can stay in here and take over for me. I barely got lunch and as loathe as I am to call what is being served in the mess tent dinner, I should probably go try to force something down."

Hawkeye then nodded and said, "Sure, yeah, you go do that. I grabbed some breakfast earlier before hitting the sack, but I heard liver was on the menu for lunch so I passed, but you should go over and get something."

BJ just smiled again and patted his shoulder as he left, "Ok, I'll leave you here to hold down the fort."


	6. Chapter 6

6

Margaret was just rinsing off when Kellye told her, "So unfortunately I couldn't stop myself and he ended up getting all wet."

Margaret smiled and told her as she reached out for the towel, "I'm sure you tried your hardest to avoid him." Then she softly said as she put on her robe, "Thank you."

Kellye told her, "Don't mention it. I didn't do anything really anyway." At that point Margaret almost lost her balance, but Kellye helped steady her, "Whoa, major, are you sure you're ok? Should I go get one of the doctors?"

Margaret regained her balance and told her, "No, no need. I'm fine, its just what happens when you combine hot water and morphine. I just need a minute that's all."

They took a couple of deep breaths and headed out. Kellye kept her arm on Margaret's elbow as they walked back but were soon confronted by Frank.

He came up, sniveling and said, "Margaret, my dear Margaret, are you alright?"

Margaret shot him a look and said, "Blow it out your ear, Frank."

Kellye smiled at first until Frank grabbed Margaret's arm from her grasp. She hollered out, "Hey! I'm the one responsible for getting her back to her tent, not you."

They all stopped, Margaret getting dizzier and he yelled back, "I am the superior officer here, you are to do as I command and salute whenever you see either me or the major here. Now I order you to go back to your tent or post op or the mess tent or wherever and leave the major and myself alone!"

Margaret took a deep breath and told Kellye, "Go on, its ok, I'll be fine." The last thing she wanted was Kellye to be written up by Frank for failing to follow orders. Even though he was not in charge of the nurses, he could still do that. She planned to explain a few things to him in her tent when they got there and him ordering her nurses around just got added to the list.

Kellye didn't look sure but said, "Fine major. If you need anything else, absolutely anything, please let us know." They nodded to each other and Kellye headed to the mess tent and Margaret and Frank headed to hers.

He started to tell her quietly, "I'm sorry Margaret dear, but I just needed to talk to you alone."

Margaret told him, "I am not sure I have anything I want to say to you right now, Frank."

Frank kept going, "Please Margaret, just listen." The two stopped right in front of her tent door. Unknown to the two, Hawkeye could hear every word. "I was wrong. I never should have come down on you like that. Its just that its so unlike you to go against army regulations. We both know what can happen to officers who do that. I was just shocked that's all. You don't know what it was like out there...lost...I mean...we thought we had lost Radar for a little while there and I was just so worried, all night that is. Until I found him the next morning."

Margaret hadn't heard any of this. In fact no one had really explained why they hadn't returned on time and she gasped, "Radar was missing? What happened? Was he captured? He seemed fine when you all returned."

Frank then said, "He's fine sweetheart, I made sure of it."

She took a deep breath and looked around. She was sure BJ was still in her tent and she didn't want him hearing this conversation necessarily so that is why she was still outside the tent. She told him, "I'm glad he's fine, but Frank...you hurt me. Those accusations you made hurt me." She shook her head, "I just don't know where this relationship is going, it doesn't really seem to have a future, and when I was scared and lonely, you weren't there. I need something more, I need someone who won't leave me, and who wants only me."

Frank then told her as he kissed her hand, "I know, I wanted to be here for you, your rock, oh my little soldier. We would have made a great team, you and I, running this camp together that night. I would have been here if it were my choice Margaret, just like I was there for you when we came over together. You know I have been thinking about it a lot lately. That near miss of us falling into the hands of the enemy the other night really got me thinking. I might not be able to marry you here, but when we get back, well, I may just have to tell Louise I found my soulmate here."

Margaret couldn't believe what she was hearing. She told him, "I don't know Frank. Its a lot to think about and I was serious...you hurt me. You didn't stand up for me like Hawkeye did. I only did what I had to do that night."

Frank then told her before opening the door as more people were starting to walk around, "You can't tell me you want to be with Hawkeye, he's worse about commitment than I am. At least I'm married..."

As Frank opened the door, Hawkeye was standing right there. He had been listening in, but had picked up her chart and was holding it by the door, so it only looked like he was reading it over, not paying attention to what was going on outside.

On the inside, however, his mind was racing. He had a feeling Margaret wasn't entirely believing what Frank was telling her, which she shouldn't, most of it was lies. Sure they had been worried about Radar who had stepped out and hadn't come back for a while, but Frank was the last person worried about him. No, what was gnawing at Hawkeye was the sound in Margaret's voice as she told Frank how she wanted a one woman man now. As much as Hawkeye felt for Margaret, and he knew it was a lot, he couldn't do that right now, it just wasn't who he was.

He was about to make a wisecrack to try to alleviate things when he saw how pale Margaret looked. Frank had stopped talking suddenly for all of one second and then said as Hawkeye reached out to take Margaret's hand, "What are you doing here! I thought BJ was the one assigned to her, that's what Colonel Potter told me anyway."

Margaret, with the help of Hawkeye brushed past Frank. Hawkeye told him, "I'm here to relieve BJ. I believe you are wanted in post op, Frank."

Frank then looked back as Margaret seemed willing to be lead into her tent by Hawkeye, "The major and I were talking and...uh..."

Hawkeye lead her over to her cot and told her softly, "Just take it easy and lay back down, alright?" Then he turned to Frank, "I believe you are no longer needed here, Frank. Now if you don't mind I need to get her vitals again and decide if we're going to start another IV." He didn't move so Hawkeye pressed, "Goodbye Frank."

Frank then turned and left, slamming the door.

Hawkeye then turned his attention back to her. He felt her head and grabbed the thermometer and chart. After getting it he told her, "Not bad, 99. That's much better than before."

As he wrote it down and she told him softly, "Thank you for helping me."

Hawkeye told her as he turned around and sat down to take her blood pressure, "Don't mention it. Let's see how your blood pressure is doing. You looked a little pale there for a second."

She could see the concern in his eyes and told him, "I bet its a little low. I was getting dizzy toward the end of my shower and just now, but I'm sure it will bounce right back up."

Hawkeye nodded and told her as he pulled down the stethoscope, "You're right, its a little low but not too bad." He then smiled at her, "Just means I get to hang around a little while longer in the infamous Margaret Houlihan tent."

She smiled back at him and then winced, "Ouch, remind me to avoid shell fire in the future, it still feels like its on fire."

Hawkeye frowned and the told her, "Here, don't fidget with it, let me take a look." He unwrapped the bandage and then walked over to her desk where they had put supplies and came back with fresh bandages, "Let me redress that and give you a little more sedative, its gonna hurt a little."

Margaret swallowed and then told him, "There's no need for a sedative. The wounded might need..."

He stopped her as he drew the needle from the clear vile of liquid, "My dear major, you are one of the wounded, now don't fight me on this, I'm bigger than nurse Kellye." He injected it into her arm and explained, "She told us all about that, you know. How you had them pour alcohol over it to sterilize the wound and would only take aspirin for the pain. Told us your blood pressure went up and you were vomiting from the intensity of it. You know better, Margaret, you're a nurse."

She nodded and then said, "I just didn't want any one deprived who needed it and I needed to remain completely alert and lucid."

Hawkeye said, "All noble intentions I'm sure, but it almost cost you, your life." He pulled off the last of the old bandage and rubbed the area to clean it. After that he stopped and looked at her a second, "I found you by the mine field. You were dazed and confused, you hadn't slept in over 24 hours. You could have easily walked right into that field without knowing it."

Margaret then told him very softly and looked down, "I did."

Hawkeye was confused and asked, "You did what?"

She inhaled and told him, "I did walk into it."

Hawkeye's eyes grew wide and he blinked before asked, "You walked into the mine field? Margaret, do you realize how close you came to actually dying out there?"

She could feel the tears combined with the sedative already working in her system, "I thought it was fate. I..." Her eyes were having a harder and harder time staying open now. He brushed the palm of his hand across her cheek, drying all her tears as she drifted off.

He could see she was losing her battle to stay awake, but what she had just told him, really scared him. He told her softly, "Shhh, just relax now, we'll talk about it later." He thought to himself, 'I can't believe it. This was Major Margaret Hot Lips Houlihan, the one who was tough as nails saying she knowingly walked into a mine field.' Maybe he needed to call Sydney Freedman, he didn't know. All he did know was she wasn't strong right now and she needed someone who was. He wasn't exactly sure how much of himself he could give her, but he would do what he could. She had made it clear to Frank at least, what it was she was feeling and what she wanted. Now if only he could figure out the same.

For the next few hours all he could do was watch her. Hawkeye tried reading, he started composing a letter to his father, but he just couldn't concentrate. Those last few words just kept replaying over and over in his head. Then it would shift to various what if scenarios. What if she had stepped on a land mine and came in looking like so many of the wounded they had treated over the past two years. What if he hadn't seen her and they had found her the next morning after, key word after, succumbing to shock. It was close to midnight when Colonel Potter came in.

Potter had knocked, but Hawkeye hadn't heard him. Potter caught that he was just staring and then softly said as he put his hand on his shoulder, "Don't mean to disturb you, son, but I wanted to get a progress report before I hit the hay."

Hawkeye turned around nodding, not quite a startled as he was earlier, "Yeah, oh yeah, ok...uh..." His mind was still racing as he got up and started pacing in the little tent. Potter knew something was wrong, or something had changed, so he picked up the chart and sat in the chair as he watched Hawkeye try to explain. "She's doing better. Her blood pressure went down briefly when she took a shower, but...uh...that's probably just because she took a hot shower after having taken morphine. Her temp is good, that's good, its down and uh..."

Potter finished looking over the chart and then said, "Looks here like all her vitals are stable." He looked back at her and said, "We can probably stop the IV after this one is done, it will take a few weeks for those wounds to go away, but she should be feeling better tomorrow. In a week or so, she'll be up and around here just like before..."

As Potter said that last statement, Hawkeye stopped cold and stared at him. That's when Potter knew there was something he wasn't telling him. He gave Hawkeye a minute to talk. Hawkeye then said, softly, "It may take longer than that."

Potter then asked, "What do you mean? Is there something that you aren't putting in the charts here?"

Hawkeye then motioned for the two to step outside. They did and after making sure no one was close enough to hear he told Potter, "Look, I don't know if I should say anything really. I mean I really don't know if she was just tired or if she really...I mean I could be wrong...its been known to happen..."

Potter nodded for a second trying to keep up and then raised a hand to stop him, "Ok now why don't you back the horse up a minute. What is it you don't think I should know."

Hawkeye took a deep breath and then asked, "Do you remember where BJ and I told you we found her?"

Potter nodded and said, "Over by the mine field, you said she was sitting against a rock there."

Hawkeye then told him, "Yeah, well...I was just telling her that she could have really gotten hurt. I told her how out of it she was and I was trying to let her know how lucky she was that she didn't accidentally wander into that field."

Potter nodded again and said, "Uh huh...she was lucky. Where are you going with this, Pierce?"

Hawkeye then took another deep breath and just decided to say it, "She told me she did wander into it."

Potter squinted and then asked to clarify, "You mean to tell me she did walk into the mine field?" Hawkeye nodded and Potter had to let that sink in a second. What he really needed to know was if it were accidental or not. The tone in Hawkeye's voice gave him the indication that it wasn't. So he asked, "Was it on purpose?"

Hawkeye exhaled and told him, "She said something about fate, I really don't know though." He looked absolutely terrified.

Potter took a couple of breaths and then asked, "Well, you know her better than anyone here. Do you think she was trying to hurt herself or do you think it was the result of everything that happened the night before?"

Hawkeye started to pace just a little, running his hand through his hair, "I don't know. I just don't know." Then he stopped and walked back over to Potter, "I can't imagine her doing anything like that, but she was...you didn't see her when we found her. I've seen her exhausted, but I've never seen her look like that."

Potter asked, "Like what?"

Hawkeye then said, "Like all hope was gone. Like she had given up. She was hurt, wounded, bleeding sitting by that rock, but what really scared me were her eyes. They just seemed so empty, as if this war had finally taken everything she had to give. I don't know if it was temporary, she could very well get right back up tomorrow and be the same Hot Lips we've come to know and love the last two years, or..."

Potter finished his sentence, "Or she could just shut down, or worse, try again." He shook his head. Potter had seen his fair share of soldiers not quite come out of a war the same way they went in. She had been so strong and during this whole debate over her actions while they were missing, the only thing he thought went right was the fact that she was the one in charge. "Listen, let's call that fellow..."

Hawkeye finished his sentence now, "Sydney Freedman. He's the best there is."

Potter nodded, "Sydney Freedman. I'll get Radar on the horn before I turn in. You just keep an extra close watch tonight and I'll come and relieve you in the morning. BJ is on post op and Frank..."

Hawkeye then interrupted, "Frank needs to go somewhere, colonel. If he isn't 'accidentally' knocking something over to make her wake up, he's ambushing her when she leaves the tent. He was the one who sent her into that state, I know he was." His voice was starting to rise.

Potter nodded and again and put his hand up, "Alright, alright...I Corps says we aren't in for any casualties for a while now. They want me to send one of you to the 8063 so their head surgeon can check out some of those new procedures we learned in that conference, I'll just send them him. I was thinking about sending him anyway. You just keep an eye on her and let me know in the morning. Like you said, it could just be the stress of that night catching up to her. She had a camp about ready to fall apart, no surgeons and an ample supply of wounded on top of shell fire and finding herself with a few pieces of fragments in her own arm for souvenirs. All that and then getting blasted for her efforts and taking on a nice size infection." He shook his head again, "I can't say I blame her for getting a little rattled by all that, I just don't want to see it permanent. I'll find out if Freedman is available and push it if you tell me tomorrow she needs him." The two nodded to each other and parted ways.

Hawkeye went back to watching her. Closing his eyes every few minutes, so thankful she was laying right in front of him. His emotions were more difficult to figure out though. Where were all these new feelings coming from? He thought for sure, initially that is, that he was proud of how she had handled things because he was the one who taught her, back at Battalion Aid that time. Of course it was an extreme circumstance then and he had worried initially that she would refuse saying something like it wasn't her responsibility or against military protocol or something like that, but she didn't. She had hung in there, she was 'pretty damn good' as he told Trapper when they returned.

Seeing Frank go off on her and verbally and professionally attack her, shifted those feelings he had for her. They turned to protective, maybe even overprotective. Of course seeing her wounded when he first got off that bus sent him right to her side, but only as a doctor, he told himself. But was that really true? She looked so vulnerable then and when he touched her arm and found the bandage, whatever chemical it is that shoots through a person at any sign of danger...well, he certainly felt like he got an extra dose. 'Oh yes,' he thought to himself, 'adrenaline, that's what it was.'

Hawkeye looked back down at the letter he had started to his father which was still stuck on the weather and shook his head. There was a lot more going on in his little corner of Korea than the weather. As she moved slightly he leaned over to see if she were talking in her sleep. Nothing. He leaned back and thought for a second about how beautiful she really is when she's sleeping. She still looked so vulnerable and fragile right now. So different from the major he was used to seeing in the daylight. He thought to himself, 'She deserves so much better than Frank. I hope she knows he's lying to her. He won't commit to her, he was just using her to cope with the loneliness, "probably the same way she's using him, but different..." he said softly.

The problem for Hawkeye was he wasn't ready to commit. Frank was at least right on that. The last time he tried that, it didn't end well. His mind shifted again to that first real love of his life, Carlye. She had just up and left, taking his heart with her. It had taken so long to get past it and he was really afraid to let his heart go like that ever again, a quick fix was all he needed and there were a string of women just as lonely as he was in this camp to keep him happy enough. No, any romantic notions or observations of how beautiful Margaret was would need to be shelved. He wouldn't hurt her the way he knew Frank was going to and he didn't want his heart stepped on either. She needed a friend, a strong friend, one who would help her through all this and that's what he would be.


	7. Chapter 7

7

The next morning, after checking her vitals again, she stirred. Hawkeye smiled and yawned at the same time, "110 over 70, my dear major you are almost the picture of good health. Your temperature is normal, your blood pressure is normal, your respirations are normal, your pulse is normal. The only thing that is not normal is your breakfast, but I'm afraid there is only so much I do in that department." The two chuckled and then he got more serious as he sat down on her cot by her hip, "How's the arm this morning? Are you in much pain?"

Margaret took a deep breath and shook her head, "Not as much as yesterday." She shook her head again, "I'm sorry Hawkeye..."

He looked confused and asked, "Sorry for what?"

She inhaled and answered, "I became a burden instead of nurse, I..." She looked down and took another breath.

When she looked up Hawkeye was shaking his head and tilting her face up with his finger as he told her softly, "You were not a burden. You were wounded, injured. This is a hospital. Its what we do, remember?"

She nodded and said, "I know, but usually I am the one redressing bandages, not the one having them redressed."

Hawkeye smiled and told her, "I know and after taking a look at my handiwork you may just a want to go over it again and redo it yourself." He got serious again, "Margaret, I really didn't mind taking care of you. We all care about you, I hope you know that."

Margaret then told him, "I know, at least I know that now. I'm not sure you would have said that about a year ago though."

He smiled and chuckled a little before saying, "Well there's a lot of things I wouldn't have said a year ago that I would say now. You certainly have changed Major Houlihan, and I mean that in a good way. I really am proud of you, the way you handled getting the wounded in here when we were gone. It takes a very strong person to do what you did. I guess I shouldn't have been so surprised to find you the way we did, but I was."

Margaret could see the concern in his eyes. She told him, "I'm sorry about that."

Hawkeye shook his head, "No, there's nothing to apologize for. I just...look, if you ever feel like that again, come find me, ok? You don't have to face all this alone, I promise. I'll be your friend and I mean that as a true friend."

She thought for a second and then asked, "What if I get back together with Frank? Will you still be my friend?"

Hawkeye rolled his eyes but then caught for a second that she might actually be joking with him as she seemed to be trying to hide a smile. He told her, "Why you little..." He smiled even bigger and told her, "Yeah, even if you had a brief lapse in judgement and give ferret face another chance, yes...I will always be your friend Margaret, if you'll have me."

She smiled again, sat up and told him, "He says he's sorry, you know."

Hawkeye nodded his head and said, "Uh huh, I'm sure he did. Now if you ever want to trade up to chief surgeon, you just let me know." He meant it as a joke, but as soon as he said it, it was like he had a realization, it sounded a lot more serious and not like the wisecrack he was intending.

She saw the look on his face and decided to let him off the hook, "I'll think about that Captain. Right now I think I'm tired of the casual camaraderie. I just wonder if..." She seemed to get awfully wistful for a second.

He decided to prod a little, "You wonder what, Margaret?"

She blinked a few times and then said, "I just wonder if its in the cards for me, you know?"

Hawkeye wasn't quite sure how to answer so he asked, "What do you mean? Margaret, you can have whatever you want in life. You don't have to settle for a right now with Frank Burns. If you want a man you don't have share, you can have that."

Margaret looked at him, almost like a child and asked, "You really think so?"

He had to fight the urge to lean over and kiss her. Their eyes met and lingered for several seconds before he barely got out, "I know so. You are an amazing woman, Margaret Houlihan. I..." he couldn't stop himself, but leaned over her and incredibly softly put his lips to hers. His emotions had taken over as he thought over and over as he kissed her, 'I want to show you how amazing you are. Let me show you.'

Her eyes closed as she welcomed his kiss. They kissed several sweet little whispers of a kiss. His hand went to the back of her neck and ran his fingers up and down it. Hawkeye was the one to put his head down to break apart. He sat back and then told her, "I can't commit right now to anyone. I'm not ready, I..."

She stopped him and said, "I know, its ok. For the record, and I'll deny it if you tell anyone, that was probably the most intense kiss I've ever gotten."

He was speechless and told her as his own heart raced, "I thought it was just me." Then his mind caught up to him and he said, "I mean, I..." He stopped himself and decided to just be honest, "It was the most intense for me too. I just don't want to hurt you Margaret. You want a one woman man, and you should have that. I just can't be that right now."

Margaret told him, "Who said I was asking you? You know, captain, just because a woman allows you to kiss her does not mean she wants you to marry her, just so you know."

Hawkeye couldn't help but laugh with her a little bit and then told her, "I'll try to keep that in mind." He took a deep breath, "It is really good to see you laugh." He then got up and told her, "Look, I took out the IV last night and I really don't think you need anything stronger than aspirin now. I think its safe to leave you be today."

She then said, "You're right, it should be." She looked back at her desk and said, "Ugh, I've got get changed, choke down that breakfast, get the duty roster done, and I'm bound to have several hours of post op duty to make up, and..."

He walked back over to her and sat down again with her chart, "No, no you don't have anything to do but rest and try to choke that mess tent mess down, nothing else. Kellye is already handling the duty roster and we just sent the last of the wounded to the 121st. There's nothing for you to do. Oh and for added measure, I got Frank out of the camp for the next week, so he'll be leaving you alone. Potter isn't going to let you do anything for at least three days so enjoy the free time while you have it."

Margaret told him as he got up, "I will and thank you, Hawkeye. I mean it, for everything."

He told her, "You're welcome and come find me if you need me. I mean it." The two smiled and he left. After telling Potter that he thought her stroll through the mine field was done in a moment of exhaustion, he went back to the swamp where things went back to normal. At least that's what he told himself. Somewhere in his mind though he was feeling more and more for the beautiful major. It was more than what he had felt for Carlye or any other woman, and it now started on the basis of an large dose of respect of friendship.


End file.
